November 1968. My Mom secretly conceives a baby girl for a purpose……..
MY TOP SECRET MISSION: upon my birth I will be what it takes to force my twenty one year old Dad to move his nineteen year old wife (my Mom), his almost two year old son, and me (his soon to be new baby girl) out of his parents’ overcrowded town home and out into our own home.
August 6, 1969. It’s my birthday, and my TOP SECRET MISSION is a success! I am worthy! IT’S TIME TO PACK UP AND GET MOVING……and moving…..and moving…..and moving……and moving…….
1969 – Sheppard Avenue; 1969 – Little Avenue; 1970 – Weston Road; 1972 – Grandravine Drive; 1973 – Rexdale Road – FIRE!!!!; 1973 – Sheppard Avenue; 1974 – Royal York Road; 1974 – Airport Road (House #1); 1975 – Airport Road (House #2); 1976 – Jane Street (red building); 1977 – Jane Street (Ontario Housing town house); 1978 – Grandravine Drive; 1979 – Keele Street; 1983 – Bobilink Avenue; 1983 – Mom moved out and left us with Dad until she could save money to bring us with her; 1983 – Tavistock Road – Mom brings us to live with her and shortly thereafter Dad moves in with us too; 1985 – Treelawn Parkway; 1986 – Chalkfarm Drive.
My boss asked me one day: “Was your Dad in the military?” I had to laugh as I replied: “No. My Dad was not in the military.”
Most times we moved because my parents couldn’t pay the rent. Other times we moved because my Mom was leaving my Dad…..again.
Edited/deleted paragraph and replaced with: My Mom and my Dad both had serious issues and challenges they faced on a daily basis. They had hard childhoods full of trauma, alcoholism, and poverty. They became parents at a very young age, and they made a ton of very bad mistakes that caused much harm to me, my brother, and my sister. I also know that they did the best that they could at the time and that they were sorry. I am not making excuses for them, I am just now seeing a different perspective which will hopefully help with my healing, letting go, and moving on. They have both been dead for many years now so there is no going back. That part of my life is over.
My little world was scary and unstable.
The Fear Monster grew stronger and stronger inside my head until every thought, feeling, and experience filtered through His eyes……